


Hey Shitass...

by SJ_CocaCrack



Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Dreamwastaken, Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Bottom Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Bottom Dream ay, Consensual, Consensual Sex, Crack, Crack Relationships, Dynamic Duo, Entity, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Smut, Gay Sex, Humanoid, M/M, Other, Smut, Wholesome, crackshot, i dont know, shitass and dream, shitass x dream, smut story, smutshot, what
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:01:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28325760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SJ_CocaCrack/pseuds/SJ_CocaCrack
Summary: "hEy shITaSS wANNA sEE mE spEEdRun?"-THEE Dreamwastaken
Relationships: Clay | Dream/ Hey Shitass, Clay | Dream/ Shitass
Comments: 9
Kudos: 58





	Hey Shitass...

**Author's Note:**

> Hey Shitass, wanna see me speedrun?

Guys- guys. This is literally the best ship ever, it's so fucking beautiful, it's just too good. People say Dreamnotfound is the real ship, no. SHITASS X DREAM IS THE REAL SHIP, FUCK YOU!! TAKE THE FOOD, SHITASS X DREAM, SHITASS X DREAM.

3rd POV

Dream joined a random world, stretching a bit. He was going to speedrun, he was ready after a long day of rest today. The masked male stopped though, he stared at an entity, an entity wearing a blue shirt, with red shorts. He recognized it, it recognized him, both just stared at each other.

The Entity stared at Dream, it was finally, finally the real Dream. It was none of those fakes asking if they want to see them speedrun, this was the real Dream. Shitass and Dream were both standing there, staring at each other. Shitass was actually hoping Dream would say the line, watching as Dream thought for a moment.

He watched the dirty blonde male smile softly, it was a sweet smile, he loved it already. This was meant to be, DREAM AND SHITASS, these two were the real duo. Dream finally spoke up, speaking in his usual tone,

"Hey Shitass, wanna see me speedrun?"

-Few Moments Later-

Dream started off doing his speedrunning things, getting what he needed, then looking around. He felt lucky, especially with how Shitass was watching him- for once Shitass was watching the speedrunner. He watched in awe as Dream went around, getting everything he needed, making a portal, blaze rods, etc.

For once the entity wasn't seeing a fake speedrunner, it was generally Dream just speedrunning and having fun. Shitass continued to watch the male speedrun, it was an actual speedrun. Dream had gotten lucky with a good seed so far, and he was busy getting blaze rods at the moment.

Shitass was entertained by this man, this beautiful and graceful man named Dream, watching him as he speedran.  
Dream occassionally looked at his timer, he was trying to get a time over 25minutes. Currently it had already been 10, meaning everything was going well so far, since now he was finishing bartering with Piglins for pearls, and leaving the nether to find the stronghold.

By the time he got to the end it had been a total of 14 minutes, he went on to fill the portal up with the eyes, then slip right through. He built over to the land, then went on to what he needed to do, the beds. Once the dragon came down, he placed one bed ontop, touching it, letting the bed explode. He repeatedly did that over and over, till the dragons health went down to 0, defeating it. From up above on one of the towers, Shitass was still watching Dream, Dream quickly slipping down into the portal. He had beat the dragon in a time of 15:47 seconds, one of his best runs.

Dream stopped the timer, looking at his time and smiling. "If only I wasn't banned from the official speedrunning site." He said to himself, in the darkness, soon going back to the overworld. When he got there, he looked around, not seeing Shitass anywhere in sight. He jumped a bit when he heard soft clapping, turning to see the other male, smiling.

In stead of dying a sudden death, he got an applause from the entity. Dream did one of those bows to the other, laughing a bit after he did, watching as Shitass approached him. He looked up at the taller male, staring at him in those dark eyes, feeling some sort of connection. It was a weird feeling, he didn't no how to describe it, but the others aura attracted him. It felt like the both of them were meant to be, it was a weird feeling, Dream didn't know how to react.

He had completely forgot what was happening, staring at the entity, who had moved his hands to undo the safety of Dream's mask, taking it off. Dream hadn't even realized his mask was removed, staring at the male with his beautiful green eyes. The Entity had never seen something so beautiful, Dream wasn't just a person, he looked like he was some sort of god. Dream was just staring, slowly realizing the situation, once he did, he quickly looked away to hide his face. The Entity continued to smile, well, they always did smile, but this was a genuine smile.

The entity found this man adorable, moving closer to wrap his arms around Dream, who was hiding his face. Instinctively, Dream moved his face, hiding his face into the others chest, closing his eyes. Shitass was much taller than Dream, who was tall himself, it's just Shitass was a literal giant. Shitass was around 7ft tall (213.36cm) while Dream was only around 6'3 (190.5cm), so Dream only was up to around the top of the others chest. Shitass's hands moved up, touching Dream's soft dirty blonde locks.

He held onto Dream, teleporting away to somewhere else, Dream was now his. The scenery changed to some sort of home, or- mansion more of, where Shitass resided. Dream peeked his face out, looking around, "where..-" he was confused at where the heck they were. He had a man hunt to record later, now he was stuck here, with Hey Shitass. Dream sighed a bit, this didn't sound all entirely bad, yes he had just met Shitass, but it was just Shitass. Usually Shitass was known for killing whatever foolish speedrunner challenged him, but Dream was THE Dream. He was THE Dreamwastaken, not the others that acted like him and proceeded to cheat at speedrunning.

Dream still felt entirely relaxed by the other, so he put his head back on the others chest, closing his eyes. Dream was taken away to Shitass's room, where he was put down onto the bed, the other laying down beside him. Dream opened his eyes, his cheeks a soft red hue, looking at the other. He felt clingy, very clingy, so he moved closer, his arms going around the other, resting his head on the others chest. He felt an arm wrap around him, the others hand playing with his soft fluffy locks, making him smile.

Soon Dream started to fall asleep, drifitng off into his own world, snoring quietly. Shitass looked down at the other, still smiling, blinking at the sight of the other. Dream looked so cute, so pure, which Dream pretty much was, except for some of the jokes he made with his friends.. Dream hadn't actually done anything entirely inappropriate before, not counting masturbation, he was an actual virgin when it came to actual sex.

Shitass was starting to get some very interesting thoughts, but then they looked away, deciding not to scare the heck out of Dream. They continued to let the sleeping angel sleep on them quietly, closing their eyes too, which were usually almost open. Their smile didn't drop though, they always smiled, and they hadn't stopped in years. Dream continued to sleep soundly, dreaming about random things, like pizza, or bullying Tommyinnit. Shitass stood awake with his eyes closed, playing with Dream's hair, which continued to keep Dream in a relaxed state.

-Later-

When Dream had woke up, he was alone, snuggled up into a warm red and blue blanket. He got up slowly, looking around, it was daytime still he could see. The curtains were closed, but there was a little crack of light, which indicated it was still daytime. Just on time Shitass had came back into the room, looking at Dream, admiring the mans beauty. He approached Dream once again, sitting down on the bed, Dream moving his legs so he could have room. Surprisingly though, Dream was grabbed, lifted up out of the covers, and onto his lap. Dream really didn't mind this, instead he let out a cute little chuckle, looking up at the other.

Dream had felt more comfortable showing his face now, plus the entity had shown a lot of friendliness. Dream's green eyes stared back into the others dark eyes, smiling softly.. He was being pulled in once again by some feeling. Without thinking, Dream had kissed the other, Shitass only returning it, still very much smiling when they did. Both kissed quite deeply, both craving more, Dream adjusting his position. He adjusted his position so he was sitting on the others lap, legs around the others waist, arms around neck, kissing the other.

The kiss got heated, both males making out, kissing each other deeply. Dream out of instinct started to grind down onto the others crotch, feeling hands slide up his sides, making him shudder a bit at the feeling. The hands traveled around Dream's smooth skin, both of them kissing each other deeply. The two males grew aroused, their kisses turning tongue variant, making out together on the bed. They pulled away after a bit, both eyes now filled with want and lust for each other.

Dream pushed Shitass back on the bed, still sitting down on the others crotch, he slipped his green hoodie off, tossing it, Shitass watching the actions of the other, watching hungrily as Dream stripped off his own clothes. Shitass's eyes glided over the others body, admiring the males chest, that was somewhat scarred, but still looked nice. The entity's hands moved, Dream's eyes widening when his nipples were touched, his face flushing more, releasing he small "a-ah~!" from his mouth. 

Shitass's smile this time formed into a smirk, watching Dream's expressions as he played with the two pink buds, cock hardening more at the sounds Dream made from him playing with the others nipples. Dream felt his arousal grow, making sweet little noises when the other played with his nipples, rocking down through the others red shorts, creating friction.

Things quickly escalated, clothes continuing to be removed, Dream hovering above the other, his hips being held. The entity summoned a bottle of special liquid, confusing Dream, but Dream realized what it was. The entity got the liquid onto his fingers, then they made their way over to Dream's hole, Dream's eyes being locked with Shitass's eyes.

The green eyed widened once a finger entered Dream's entrance, Dream almost falling forward, face first. Dream let out small gasps as he was fingered, being prepped by the other slowly, his tightness loosing up quite a bit. Dream panted softly as the fingers moved inside of him, the fingers brushing up against a bundle of nerves. A moan escaped Dream's lips, starting to rock his hips back and forth against the others fingers. Soon 3 fingers were inside of him, stretching him out, making him moan from the pleasure more.

Once Dream was fully prepped, the fingers were removed, Dream still sitting ontop of the other. He was horny and needy, his hand having lube on it, rubbing it onto the others cock up and down. He was ready for this, he was confident, and he was horny. His hole was basically begging for penetration, guiding the tip of the cock to his entrance, where he positioned it.

The other was letting Dream take care of this, so Dream could start at the pace he wanted, and so it wouldn't be too painful. Later on though Shitass could easily take control with his hands and move Dream up and down on his cock, but that was for later. The entity used self control, both of their cheeks flushing more as Dream went down.

The large length entered Dream, Dream letting out a soft cry, leaning his head back. He put himself down on the hard length, sitting, allowing himself to adjust to the large side. The whole time the entity caressed his body, helping him relax, being patient and letting the other adjust. Dream was given as much time as he needed, then he moved up, letting out a whimper, then he went back down. He started to move up and down in a slow pace, hands helping support himself as he moved. Shitass's cock twitched inside of the male, loving the tight warmth, still smiling softly. Dream's movements started to quicken, small noises escaping his mouth, only beginning to go quicker. A audible soft moan escaped as the cock brushed up against his prostate, moving faster, the pleasure stimulating him.

Dream continued to fuck himself on the other, both males enjoying the pleasure, it was a very enjoyable experience. Dream gasped when the other had put their hands on his hips, thrusting him faster. He leaned his head back, moaning as the other suddenly had been thrusting in and out of his prostate, making him feel amazing, Dream was in pure bliss.

Dream was moved up and down faster, moaning from how good it felt, getting closer to his own climax. The two males continued, only getting faster, and closer to their climaxes. Shitass continued to repeatedly fuck into Dream's prostate, soon sending the lewd dirty blonde over the edge. After a few more thrusts, Shitass came inside of Dream, filling Dream up. The two of them were panting, Dream's body quivering from the pleasure, still sat on the others cock. Then slowly he got off it, laying on the others chest, being pulled into an embrace. Dream after a few moments smiled, panting, moving to nuzzle the other.

The entity's hand came over, petting the back of Dream's head, the two of them relaxing. After a bit they had both went to take a bath together to get cleaned, then they went back to bed to cuddle.

-

Dream after a while had to go back to the Dream SMP, Shitass not wanting the other to go. Dream couldn't just leave the other- seeing Shitass not want him to leave. Dream allowed the other to come..

Then soon Shitass was on the Dream SMP, the two joining. Dream sighed, watching chaos ensue from the chat when he opened his menu. Dream was wearing armor once again, but he took it off, deciding he already had someone to protect him. Dream looked around the area; seeing he was in a snow biome, knowing where he had left. He turned his head to look at a crater in the snow, smiling.

He checked the members list, seeing two specific people online. Dream grinned, walking in a certain direction, though looking around when Shitass was missing again. Dream put his armor back on, walking to the door, and knocking. A blonde haired boy opened the door, "ELLO!?!?!" Tommy made eyecontact with Dream's mask, screaming. Tommy went through different expressions quickly, horror, happiness, sadness, and it settled at anger. "OI FUCK YOU YOU GREEN BASTARD!!! I HATE YOU!!!!! YOU LOOK SO STUPID!!! IF I WAS IN AN ALLEY WITH YOU, I'D MUG YOU!" Tommy shouted..

Dream wasn't affected by words, he just took advantage of the situation. He started to sniff, Tommy looking confused. Another male came to the door, only to see a sad Dream, looking at Tommy, then back at Dream. Dream slowly turned around, sniffing, walking down the stairs. Then someone was summoned, right infront of the two. Tommy let out a scream, and soon chaos ensued..

-

"WAIT WAIT WAIT! IM SORRY- AAAAAAAA" Tommy was dodging blocks being thrown at him, a flying entity in the sky. Meanwhile Philza, Technoblade, and Dream were watching the chaos. All three of them were laughing, it was a funny looking sight, Tommy running for his life and screaming.

"IM SO SORRY! I AM! DREAM I AM SORRY YOU BEAUTIFUL GREEN BEING, YOU DON'T LOOK STUPID, YOU DON'T! YOU LOOK POGCHAMP PLEASE JUST GET THAT THING OFF OF ME PLEASE!" Tommy was screaming at the top of his lungs, Dream decided he could step in. He quickly got the entity to stop, Shitass coming down to the ground, Tommy behind a tree shaking.

Phil went over to Tommy, pulling em over, "It's okay, m8." Phil pat the teens back. Dream at the moment was closely pulled to Shitass's chest, smiling softly, feeling relaxed. Technoblade went over to the two blondes, patting Tommy on the back, "This is why you don't just start swearing at people at the door, Tommy. Especially Dream." Techno then stopped patting the others back. He turned to look at Dream and Shitass, but the two were gone.

Dream and Shitass were at the community house, Dream leaning on the other as they walked. Dream was going to get some things done, but they had decided they would show Shitass around, the smp was going to have to get accustomed to Shitass somehow. 

Dream brought Shitass around, showing him the place, starting at the gay castle, then all the way to New L'Manberg. Dream hinted multiple times in his sentence that New L'Manberg wouldn't be there for much longer. Shitass and Dream ran into the president of L'Manberg, also known as Tubbo. Tubbo looked at the two, staring, staring at them both. 

"hello, Tubbo." Dream smiled, Tubbo smiling back, "hello Dream! and.." he looked at the male beside Dream, "who might you be?" Tubbo acted normal, "I'm Tubbo, nice to meet you!" he held his hand out. Shitass looked at the hand, then Tubbo, and then he shook the hand. Dream smiled softly, "His name is Shitass." Dream said, Tubbo still smiling softly. "Well, Shitass, welcome to L'Manberg!" Tubbo then walked off to the bee sanctuary.

Dream continued to walk around with the entity, the two of them settling on a hill, sitting together. Dream sighed deeply, looking at the chaos, but then putting away. Shitass showed up in the member list, so everyone knew when the two had joined. Dream nuzzled the others neck once again, smiling, leaning up and kissing the others cheek. Shitass blushed a bit, looking over at Dream, giving him a kiss on the nose. 

Dream chuckled a bit, smiling more when kisses were planted on his face. Shitass removed his mask, continuing to kiss Dream all over. Dream snuggled into the others side, a blanket being summoned, that was then wrapped around both of them. The majority of the blanket covered Dream from view, him peeking his head up at Shitass. Shitass gave him a kiss once again, Dream putting his head back down, closing his eyes. He hid his face, sighing deeply, relaxed.

Out of no where he heard a quiet whisper, "I love you.." the other whispered, Dream's eyes widening. He smiled more, "I love you too" he replied, cuddling the other more.

The two relaxed up on the hill, one duo that was meant to be.

Shitass and Dream.

-The end-

MERRY DREAMAS EVERYONE!!!  
Since I'm not a religious person i switch christmas to Dreamas lol

HOPE YOU ENJOYED MY 200K SPECIAL, thank you all SO MUCH. I'm pogging right now for dreamas I got a Georgenotfound shirt, NO ONE WILL MESS WITH ME NOW!!!!

Merry Dreamas to you all!

<3

AO3 note: this was originally written on wattpad for my 200k read special, I really liked this oneshot of mine, and i posted it here. It was also posted on christmas on wattpad, so that's why there is a Merry Dreamas thingy :p.


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